A Father's Worth

Becoming a dad is the most amazing accomplishment of my life.

On the one hand, I have arrived.

On the other hand, I have just begun.

It’s akin to the first time you tie your black belt on. This is AWESOME! Wait, am I worthy? Everyday you need to prove your worth on the mat, and THEN start the next lesson.

Every morning I wake up and realize I’m the father to my amazing girls, and husband to an amazing woman. Then the work starts from there.

Showing love is easy. Having a good time is easy. Being patient is hard. Being patient with big feelings is even harder, and they’re not even pre-teens yet.

I try, I fail, I try my best to correct, and then I try again.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

[Side note: How has shampoo directions become so philosophically relevant in modern life?]

Reflecting on what it would have been like to be a boy-dad, I think it wouldn’t be much different other than the end goal. Teaching my hypothetical boy (HB) is easier, because I’ve been practicing being a man for a long time.

I know what to look for, what to curb, and what to encourage, but with girls…

Teaching my daughters how to be something I’m not, but with the principles that I would instill in my HB is quite the conundrum.

I want my daughters to be just as strong, resilient and self-sufficient as my HB, but I also want them to be able to find the kind of man that can share the burden and bounty that life has to offer.

Whereas my Mother’s Day tribute has much to do with women accepting their boys going off to war, a father has to accept his girls going off into the arms of another man.

I’m still trying to be the best man I can be given my current expectations, meanwhile I’m also trying to be the best husband I can be with what I think are my wife’s expectations, and now I have to make sure I’m the kind of man that my daughters will look for in their future mate.

Lastly, I have to prepare my daughters to leave me. I know my wife will as well, but she already knows what that’s like. It’s the “not knowing” that creates fears and concerns. Until then, I’ll just keep preparing my daughters the best way I can, because one day I’ll want them to remember me for all of the things I taught them, so they won’t need me, instead they’ll miss me.