Sweat the Small Stuff

In 1997 I was completing my first year of teaching martial arts while holding down a sales job. The book “Don't Sweat the Small Stuff” came out around the same time.

Given the level of detail I was putting into my martial practice, and learning to teach 4-6 year old kids, I thought if I ever wrote a book, it would be called the opposite. Sweat the Small Stuff!

Seventeen years later, in 2014, I came across a commencement speech given by Naval Adm. William H. McRaven, B.J. '77, ninth commander of U.S. Special Operations Command at the University of Texas at Austin, and it was “the speech that was heard ‘round the world.”

Needless to say, this speech really resonated with me.

It became known as the “make your bed” speech, and the speech was eventually turned into a #1 Best Seller by the NY Times in 2017.

Oddly, four months after this speech was given, I stopped working for someone else, and put a large chunk of my life's savings into opening White Tiger Dojo. Although the plan started almost a year prior, it took just under 12 months to get all of the details lined up.

Twelve years later, I thought about this speech and the idea I had for a book, and it made me realize just how many positive lessons I've learned through studying conflict. It's no wonder the military and combat sports share so many of the same wisdoms over the course of time.

Start with a Salutation

When you come into the dojo, we start and end each class with a bow. It isn't always perfect, but it's the little things that close one space and open another.

When you start a kata (form), bunkai (applications), or jiu-kumite (sparring), you bow. Like closing one application, to free up more memory to open another application. It's an energy management moment, and a shared moment of respect when working with a partner.

A Good Partner is a Good Student

A good student is also a good partner. Whether it's in relationships, business, or on the mat, being attentive to the small details is a shared duty.

Life is complicated, and full of small and large conflicts. Having a partner share the burden of the details with overlapping fields of awareness, memory, care, and respect is one of life's great lessons about interacting with people.

Respect Everyone

No matter where you are, or what you're doing, start off by showing respect. How you treat those who cannot help you is a sign of integrity.

It's why I can never tell “who will become a black belt.” Anyone can tell you that is either a fool, or thinks you are a fool.

It's also why I don't make a big deal about the word “sensei”. It's not a word I use to command respect, it's a technical term that literally translates to “one who has come before”.

Respect is given to me or not due to the level of respect I have given.

I've simply been on the martial journey longer than my students. What's great about this, is that I've been able to get students skills much higher than my own when I was their rank.

The blue belts I've promoted today are almost as good as the black belt I was in 2000.

Life Isn't Fair, Fail Forward

No matter how well you do, you can still fail. Keep moving forward, and know that life isn't fair, and you'll fail often, so just fail forward.

Observe your failures and successes like a scientist. Try to remove emotion from the equation, and you'll grow into a much better version of yourself.

Chaos Is Inevitable

No matter how disciplined you may be, life will throw you curve balls.

The toughest thing to do is maintain discipline when you feel like all of your discipline didn't prevent a life-changing event.

Dive Head First

The most difficult thing about changing your life for the better, is to start. Starting your martial journey already puts you in an elite group of less than 4% of Americans.

Only 2% of that less than 4% that start will ever make it to black belt. Every step, every stripe, every colored belt drives you towards rare air. Keep going, and…

Stand Your Ground

Many predators will tell you that there are signs that make you more or less than an ideal victim. A downward gaze, sucked into your phone, slumped shoulders, stiff hips, even velcro shoes or flip-flops can make you more of a target.

Standing up straight, eyes looking ahead, walking with a purposeful gait, and having the physical confidence to talk your way out of a problem can go a long way.

People who understand physical conflict are not intimidated by it, and know the value of trying to avoid, diffuse, and deescalate a potential violent encounter.

There's an old police saying that you might not talk your way out of a ticket, but you can talk your way into a ticket.

Lastly, if you have qualified someone for violence, then be the most violent first.

Without Darkness, There is No Light

Without struggle, there is no change. Life is full of curiosity, that leads to competence, confidence, and then consistency.

However, each step has frustration points.

Frustration, failure, and setbacks are part of creating a meaningful and purposeful life.

The harder something is, the calmer you need to be.

It's not easy, but nothing ever worth your time ever was or ever will be.

Don't Be a Stick in the Mud

When you're stuck, you better have followed the above maxims, or you'll find yourself “wallowing in the mud” vs “singing in the rain” with your buddy.

There's a saying I used to hear from a friend's dad, “I'm not complaining, I'm just explaining.” It's hilariously accurate for some, and hilariously contradictory and dodgy for others.

The best way to keep your spirits up during tough times is to remember how far you've come, how many trials you've passed, and how many great people you've met along the way.

It's Easy to Earn a Black Belt…

Don't quit. Quitting happens when expectations don't meet reality. The only way to change your reality is to take “quitting” off the table.

The Final Chapter

At the end of your days, you want to be remembered as someone who would push through.

Someone who took risks based on confidence, faced their bullies, and never gave up.

If you've done all of this, then the next generation, and the ones that follow will live in a world far better than the one you inherited. What started with sweating the small stuff will indeed have changed your world, and those around you, for the better.